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Leo Claims Traditionis Custodes was “Just a Prank”
VATICAN—Pope Leo told the press Saturday that Traditionis Custodes was a big joke. According to Leo, the 2021 document restricting the use of the pre-Vatican II Latin Mass was a “prank.” Leo made the claim in the midst of an impromptu press conference that occurred after an event in the St. Paul VI Audience Hall.…
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Leo Claims Traditionis Custodes was “Just a Prank”
VATICAN—Pope Leo told the press Saturday that Traditionis Custodes was a big joke. According to Leo, the 2021 document restricting the use of the…
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Extraterrestrial Appears in Leo XIV Pachamama Photo
THE ROMAN CALLER — While internet discussions grew evermore lively over the weekend following the release of an alleged photo from the 90’s of…
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Priest Buys “Pentegon-Sized” Amount of Crab Legs
BALTIMORE — Just days after U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth came under fire for expenditures of $93 Billion on what many claimed were…
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Parish Disappointed with Temu Palms
OKLAHOMA CITY — The parish staff of an Oklahoma City parish is panicking after ordering what they thought would be palms for Palm Sunday.…
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Pastor Forgets that it’s Daylight Savings—Offers all Masses an Hour Late
RICHMOND—A priest at St. Brendan’s in Richmond, Virginia offered Masses an hour late, forgetting that it is now Daylight Saving Time. Father Paul Canis,…
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Leo Appoints AI Cardinal to Handle Iran Situation
VATICAN — The Vatican announced today the creation of the first AI cardinal as a means of dealing with the current situation in the…
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Mother of James and John Examined for Hearing Loss
JERUSALEM — Talk about a faux pas of biblical proportions! Mary Salome, the mother of James and John and wife of Zebedee, caught controversy…
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Mike Huckabee Seen Carrying Arc of the Covenant into Iran
ISRAEL — U.S. Ambassador Mike Huckabee was seen by spectators today flanked by American military personnel, some of whom were also helping him carry…
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Cardinal Roche to Take Over Iran as New Ayatollah
TEHRAN — Cardinal Arthur Roche has just been given an unusual task of taking over the Iranian government following American-Israeli airstrikes over the weekend.…
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BREAKING: War Between Vatican and Israel IMMINENT
VATICAN — The world is currently on edge as Pope Leo XIV has evacuated the Apostolic Nunciature in Tel Aviv, noting through private communications…